How Do You Manage Menopause Rage?

Have you ever felt stable one minute, and the next, you feel intensely irritated in a matter of a few minutes? Although hot flashes and night sweats may get all the attention, menopause symptoms may also include emotional issues, such as anger or rage. Why do some people go from zero to ten on the anger scale so quickly? Blame it on menopause rage.

Feelings of anger, frustration, and rage are normal. After all, we are human and humans have a wide range of emotions. During menopause, hormones change. Those changes can lead to intense feelings of rage or frustration. Your family, friends, and even you, yourself, may notice you are less patient than normal.

While it is normal to feel how you feel, we can’t blame every outburst on menopause behavioral changes. Regardless of mood swings and hormone levels, we can still control our anger-induced actions and avoid hurting people’s feelings (and, ahem, avoid a menopause rage divorce).

Below we will take a hard look at why menopause rage occurs and how you can move your feelings of capital-R RAGE into lowercase letters.

What Causes Menopause Anger?

If you experience menopause rage, then you are not alone. According to research in the Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience, about 70 percent of women report that irritability is their top complaint.

First, the good news: Menopause rage does not mean you’re going crazy. The bad news is that you may feel like you are going off the deep end, and not in the fun way you did that first summer you conquered the diving board. Take comfort in the fact that there is a physiological, meaning a physical, reason behind the rage.

Estrogen can affect the level of serotonin produced in the brain. Serotonin is a natural mood booster. Think of it as your “happiness hormone.” When you produce less estrogen, you may also make less serotonin, which can have an adverse effect on mood. Capital “B” Bummer.

Plus, menopause symptoms can include physical complaints, such as hot flashes, joint pain, and fatigue. The physical issues don’t exactly leave you feeling on top of the world. The combination of less estrogen and a hormonal imbalance, along with dealing with a host of other physical symptoms, can make anyone a bit cranky. In some instances, the crankiness climbs several notches into full-blown menopause rage.

Are Menopause Hormones Only to Blame?

Are hormones causing your menopause emotional instability? Yes, your hormones may fluctuate from month to month or even day to day. Before we blame it all on menopause, consider what else is going on in your life.

Menopause may start around the same time you are going through common stressors. According to the Mayo Clinic, the average menopause age is about 51. Although everyone is different, middle age may be around the time you deal with aging parents or kids leaving the nest. It can be a challenging time.

While hormones may contribute to how well you handle stress, changing estrogen levels might not be the only culprit. Being honest with yourself about what is going on helps you find the right solution! Like Batman or Marie Curie, you cannot find a solution until you can identify the problem.

How Do I Prevent Menopause Rage?

After you know why menopause rage occurs, you might ask how you can cope with perimenopause anger? Fortunately, we have several options to keep from raging. Not all treatment approaches work for everyone. To determine the best way to manage menopause rage, it’s critical to consider, what if any, other menopause symptoms you are experiencing, the severity of symptoms, and any underlying health conditions or risk factors you have.

When it comes to menopause rage, you can make the road to menopause a little less rocky. Consider the following:

1. Talk to your doctor about medication to manage menopause anger attacks.

Different types of medication may help you deal with mood swings and rage issues. Antidepressants also help some women with hot flashes and other menopause symptoms.

Check out our comprehensive guide to medical treatments for menopause for more information.

2. Learn about menopause hormones (hormone replacement therapy).

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be an option, especially if you have other menopause symptoms. HRT includes estrogen and possibly progesterone. HRT is not right for everyone. Talk with your doctor about the risks and side effects versus the benefits.

Review the pros and cons of hormone therapy to get educated on whether they are right for you.

3. Invest in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps you take a look at your thought patterns, which may affect your behaviors. By changing your thoughts, you can follow up with learning new behaviors. One benefit of CBT is it does not involve any type of medication, although it can be coupled with prescription medication like an antidepressant or an anti-anxiety medication.

4. Consider lifestyle changes.

Sometimes healthy lifestyle changes, such as exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating well, can make a world of difference. Also, try limiting alcohol, which can be a sneaky sleep stealer. And we’re all frustratingly aware, it’s much harder to feel calm when you haven’t had a good night’s sleep.

6. Find your zen.

Can zen and menopause go hand in hand? Possibly. It may take a little work to learn to chill. (In this case, we don’t mean the kind of chill you get from a walk-in freezer during a hot flash.) We can all benefit from decreasing stress and slowing down and finding our inner peace. What better time than when dealing with menopause symptoms. Try to infuse a little zen into your life with the following tips:

Take deep breaths.
Try yoga.
Learn to meditate.
Spend time with friends.
Laugh.
Get outside.
Be present in the moment.
Let go.

Get the skinny with 16 tips on self-care to find your own personal zen.

How Do I Manage Menopause Rage in the Moment?

As Erasmus said, “Prevention is better than cure.” Smart guy, that Erasmus, though I bet he never knew the joys of night sweats and vaginal dryness. In an actual moment of rage, prevention is as helpful as a Christmas tree skirt in February, so can you stop menopause anger in the very moment you feel it? The good news is: yes! I don’t know about you, but when menopause rage invades my body, all prevention goes out the window. That’s why applying these basic tips in the moment will help you and will preserve your closest relationships:

Walk away. If your menopause hormones have got you in a chokehold and you are as reactive as an alkali metal, do not engage. I repeat: Do. Not Engage. Walk away! If you are already in a conversation, simply say: “I need to cool down so I don’t say or do something I’ll regret. I promise to circle back to this conversation when I’m calm. Give me some space to clear my head.” Adding this after the statement shared in the “name and explain your feelings” bullet item below will give clarity.
Distract yourself. Either while walking away or when otherwise distanced from others, count backwards from 100, scream into a pillow, splash cold water on your face, or find another way to distract yourself and calm down.
Name and explain your feelings. Sharing what you’re feeling (as long as it’s not hurtful to your partner or others) is courageous. Saying something like: “I’m feeling angry and like I’m heading toward rage. It’s not you. This is a common symptom during this phase of life for me.”
Close the loop. It’s important to circle back and close the loop on your previous conversation(s). When you can say three nice things about the person you were engaging with, or otherwise feel proactive and calm (like your menopause rage has subsided and you can have a healthy, positive conversation), then it’s time to re-engage. Start off by thanking the person (or people) for allowing you to take the time and space you needed to cool down. Then, ask if they are willing to pick up the conversation where you were before.

What Not to Do

Just as there are many things you should do to decrease feelings of menopause rage, there are a few things you should not do, such as the following:

Don’t ignore the issue: Menopause rage is not that bully on the elementary school playground who gets bored when you don’t reward their behavior. Just riding out menopause rage won’t make it go away. Facing it head-on and developing healthy ways to cope will help.
Don’t beat yourself up: Until scientists unlock the mystery of robotic singularity, we’re all just human. We all have off days and might be quick to snap at someone. If you have an angry moment, apologize if needed, and move on.
Don’t use menopause as an excuse: Menopause hormones may be an explanation for some of the rage you experience during midlife but it is not an excuse for acting out that anger. You are in control of the steps you take to prevent your anger from turning to rage and to manage menopause rage in the moment should it happen. If you feel out of control, then you are not alone. You do have many choices to not live in powerlessness. Start by seeing a healthcare professional who can recommend the right remedies for you, natural or prescribed.
Don’t go it alone: It is more than ok to reach out for personal and professional help. Talk to your perimenopausal posse, a BFF, a doctor, a counselor, or reach out online for menopause support. Realizing there are others going through the same thing may help.

It’s a Wrap!

Did you know that menopause rage is totally a thing AND is totally normal? Your hormones are all over the place during the menopausal transition. Thanks to the ups and downs of your hormones, a result can be menopause rage. By learning how to best manage the menopause rage, you’ll feel ready to conquer the Big Change. Don’t shy away from screaming into a pillow. I’m no stranger to that technique myself, and am happy to scream into my own decorative throw right alongside you.

Sources

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Posted in Hormonal Changes, Menopause Basics and tagged menopause, menopause symptoms